Hi everybody,
Tonight I will be telling y'all all about this past weekend (October 4th-5th). As y'all know I am a part of Campus Outreach at GSU. So they have what is called a "fall retreat" with other CO from other schools. This year it was in Greenville, South Carolina...........it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! We left that Saturday morning and got to our hotel around lunch time. We had our first "rally" right after lunch and that's when it started.
I started questioning myself and how I had been living my life lately. "Am I really a Christian? Have I been living like it? What does this all mean................................?" I kept asking myself those same questions that whole day.
After the rally we went to this park downtown called The Falls (picture above) and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seriously want to move to Greenville when I graduate college. Anyway that night after dinner and everything, I asked my friend Katie (reference to the picture above) if I could talk to her about something. So we sat down on a couch close to our hotel room, and I automatically started crying my eyes out like a baby. I sat there and poured my heart out to her and asked her why I was feeling like I was. She sat there and shared the "gospel" with me and told me how to live like a Christian.
Before I went to bed that night I texted another friend of mine who was on the retreat with us, Taylor Smith. I asked her if I could ask her a few questions in the morning about how to live like a Christian. So I met her the next morning in the lobby, and this time I did not cry and we talked for like about 30 minutes or so. She asked me a very tough question that Katie had already asked me the night before, "What is holding you back from surrendering your life?" Right then I couldn't answer it because I didn't know the answer.
We had our last rally later on that morning. It was the last song before the speaker came up, and I automatically found myself sitting in my chair in tears. I was so overwhelmed with God's presence and finally realized that I needed Him BAD!!!!!!!!!!!! When the lights came back on I grabbed my stuff and walked out into the hallway. I sat there for about 15 or 20 minutes before I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I looked up, my eyes filled with tears and pain, and saw that it was Taylor. We sat there for probably about an hour or so, and most of the time I was just sitting there crying my eyes out. She kept telling me that I couldn't fight this battle by myself, I couldn't act strong by myself, I couldn't do any of that by myself. All I wanted was peace and to break free from all the pain that I was feeling and had felt for a long time.
I knew what I had to do.........I had to just let go and surrender my life to Christ. So after I had calmed down some and with Taylor's arms around me; I finally did that I just let go and whole heartedly gave my life to Him. I finally understood what it meant to LIVE like a Christian for the first time, and I was able to break free of the burden of approval and wanting to be accepted (Titus 3:3-5).
It wasn't too long after we had "share time" with the campus we came with. I was the first one to go and I stood confident and proud and shared with everyone that I had become a part of the family of Christ. Everyone cheered and clapped and Lindsey was crying. When I sat down I looked over at Rachel to see a big smile spread across her face.
That night at Prayer, I was talking to Katie and she said she could tell a major difference in the way I prayed out loud. Before I was really nervous and not really sure what to say, but NOW I'm confident and I just talk to Him. Needless to say that night was the BEST night of sleep I've had in a long time, and I am much happier. I have the peace that I had long for, and an overwhelming sense of joy that just fills me up.
I broke free and I am SO much happier!
God bless,
Lecie Fitzner
