Merry CHRISTmas 2014

               Christmas means different things to everybody. For some people it's the sales and buying gifts. For others it's about Jesus Christ.
Now both of those things are great (I love getting and giving gifts I mean who wouldn't). However, our society is getting so caught up in sales and deals, but we forget that it's much MORE than that.
             The first six words of "Christmas" are very important.......CHRIST!!! Because of Him we have this holiday. He was born in a manger and then died on a cross for US!!!! Every time Christmas comes around I learn something new.
I know several families who won't have loved ones with them this Christmas, but when I talk to them.....they say are glad their loved one is with Christ!!
       As you are surrounded by your families this Christmas, just remember the reason for the season. The reason is Jesus Christ, our Lord & Savior, Immanuel, Wonderful Counselor, Alpha & Omega...etc.
        Doesn't matter where you are on Christmas, as long as you are surrounded by the ones you love. With or without presents Christmas would still be the same! What makes Christmas actually Christmas is a little baby boy born in a manger.

How I FINALLY Came to Christ

      I grew up going to church, doing children’s group, and church camp at Epworth by the Sea. I always was a part of something at church including youth group. So I always knew who God was and that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. My mom and I always went to church and Sunday school. As I got older church and church camp became something very important to me especially during middle & high school. Especially one church in particular, First Christian Church in Sylvania, Georgia. That youth group and the church as a whole was there during my worst years and still to this day is always there for my family and me. School throughout Elementary and first two years of middle were hard for me because I was bullied a lot. It was hard for me to make friends and very hard to even keep friends growing up.

Sixth and Seventh grade were my worst years of school. In sixth grade my Aunt Lou died it was hard for me, then in seventh grade my nanny died on Christmas Eve. That death was almost impossible for me I just couldn't believe that she was really gone from my life. Good thing I had a family & "adult" friends to help me through it. I was fine until that one day when I decided that it was worthless for me to be here "earth"! My friends (at the time) (no longer friends) Ashley Smith & Amanda Long told the counselor & they got to me before I could do anything! The only people that stuck with me through that awful day & after (February 2009) was my coach and the counselor at the school. She is the greatest coach I've ever had and the counselor was always there to help me. All this drama began before the school went to New York City; when I returned to school it had to be the hardest thing I had ever done. I begged mama not to let me go I was scared to death about what would happen or what people would say. The counselor at the school (she goes to my church) popped in my first period class (English) to tell my teacher something, but I think that she wanted to check on me. I went home crying EVERYDAY. I just wanted to get out of there...I felt like I was suffocating. I had to get out of there and fast!

     Cameron Rocker went to a private school named Edmund Burke Academy, so mom & dad looked into it. Before I knew it we were going to look at the school!!!!! I was super nervous about moving to a new school but we knew it was for the best. The beginning of my eighth grade year I started EBA, I was super nervous. I was so nervous the first day of school at EBA. A girl named Allie Goode said "We should introduce ourselves to the new students." I was so scared that no one would like me or would think I'm weird. Throughout the year I bonded more with so many people. I was so happy & a totally different person. Ever since that day, I've been a totally different person!!! Before I knew it I had a ton of friends more than I had before, and my whole personality had changed.

                Around Thanksgiving of my sophomore year, I started to think of how it would feel to have a relationship with Christ. I heard two of my friends’ testimonies about how they came to Christ. During the break I saw the movie Letters to God. It got me thinking and I called one of my friends and when school started back she shared the gospel with me and what it truly meant to have a real relationship with Christ. I could feel that God was pulling on my heart and wanting me to come to Him, but I couldn’t because I still was holding on to what had happened to me in my past and still had so much anger about it too. Between then and that following March I just began to spiral down and became more and more depressed. I was angry at my past and just had so much fear of rejection from people who wanted to be my friends. 

     March of my sophomore year (the exact date is March 16-18, 2012) I went to a conference/retreat in Waynesboro, Georgia called Plugged In, it was for girls. My best friend Beth Jenkins (check her out at Wandering Forevermore) invited me. My small group leader that me, Beth Jenkins, & the girls we met in our group (Emily Holcomb & Beth Mathews) had was named Mrs. Nan Lynay. She was amazing! Friday night took all of my courage & strength to talk to her; what I mean by that is opening up to her was so hard but so worth it! That retreat was amazing I haven't had that much fun & haven't cried that hard since camp a few years ago. I came from that weekend thinking and believing that I truly did give my life to Christ. I believed it for a really long time and lived the way I thought you should live, and I acted the way I thought you should act.

                October-March of my junior year of high school was a very trying time for me because so much was happening to me that I didn’t understand. That’s when I started to stray from God, but I kept making sure everyone thought I was still a Christian. When I didn’t really understand what that even meant by that point in my life. I was at risk of leaving EBA after the first semester and then a friend of mine got killed and he was a non-Christian. I had people to support me and help me through it and would pray with me, but I knew that I was not acting and living the way I should have been. I kept telling myself that no matter what I was a Christian.

Then I graduated from high school and a week later started summer semester at East Georgia in Statesboro which is really not where I wanted to go at all. It was literally my LAST choice and I was so angry and embarrassed to say I was going there. I stayed angry at God and kept questioning why I was at East Georgia and not at Georgia College where I wanted to be. I stayed angry at Him for a long time and then slowly that anger turned into pain and desperation for something to fill me and make me have peace and happiness. There were several nights that I would just lay in my bed just crying my eyes out wanting peace, but not really fully understanding how to get it. I was meeting with the school’s counselor at this time and I started feeling worse coming out of her office then I did going in. I didn’t know why and didn’t understand why I was feeling like that. She could see that I was in a state of desperation trying to find a way out but not having a way out.

During all that going on, I got involved with Campus Outreach at Georgia Southern University. I met some amazing people that quickly became close friends. There were a few girls in Campus Outreach who I could tell they had something I wanted. PEACE! I started talking to Rachel Cowart, Katie Dent, and Lindsey Johnson about what I had been going through and how I was struggling so much. They gave me great advice and prayed for me and with me. However, that was not enough I still felt empty and alone and trapped thinking I couldn’t get out. I was enslaved to my sin and I was in tremendous amount of pain that finally just took over and I couldn’t break free. Trying to hide all that pain and anger every day when I would go to class became harder and harder. I would come out the counselor’s office feeling worse than when I went in. I knew I needed something and fast. I kept a journal that I would write about how desperate I was and wanted to feel peace. The desperation, pain, anger, and depression got worse and worse the whole month of September. One Wednesday night, the verse that was used was Titus 3:3-5 and it literally slapped me in the face like a two by four. HARD!!!!!!!!!!!

Lindsey Johnson invited me to go to Fall retreat with her and the rest of Campus Outreach. So I signed up and we went to Greenville, South Carolina. We got there that Saturday afternoon around lunch time, and we had our first “rally.” While I was listening to the lesson I had several questions running through my mind and I started questioning myself…..”Am I really a Christian? Have I been living like it? What does this all mean......................?” They just kept going on and on in my head all day and all night. I kept asking my friends why I was feeling like I was. That night I asked my friend Katie Dent if I could talk to her about something. So we sat down on a couch in the hotel close to our room. I instantly just started bawling like a baby because of all the pain I was in and how I just felt so lost. We sat there for a while as she explained what it truly meant to “LIVE” like a Christian and how amazing I would feel! She asked me a very hard question that I had been asking myself………..”What is holding you back from fully trusting the Lord and giving Him your life?” I sat there for about 5 minutes and said “MYSELF”!!!!!!!!!!! Well we prayed and went to bed, but before I went to sleep I texted a “staff leader” in our Campus Outreach, Taylor Smith. I asked her if I could talk to her in the morning that I had some questions about the gospel. She said sure and that she would be glad to talk to me.

Well the next day (October 5, 2014…..Sunday) I met Taylor in the lobby that morning and basically told her what I had told Katie the night before, and she told me the same thing Katie told me the night before. During the rally that morning, we were singing a song and I suddenly became overwhelmed with the presence of God. I literally sat in my seat in tears praying my heart out just wanting to break free. I picked my stuff up and walked into the hallway where I just started bawling. Seriously I haven’t cried that hard since I don’t know when. After about 15 minutes or so I felt a hand on my shoulder telling me that everything was going to be okay. I looked up and it was Taylor! As I continued to bawl my eyes out she sat there just telling me how much Christ loved me and that I couldn’t break free on my own. I couldn’t live a great and painless life by myself. I needed something to help me feel full and happy and peaceful…………………………..that was one thing…………………………..Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After I had calmed down a little bit she told me that I had to just cry out to Him saying “I’m tired and broken and in so much pain and I can’t do it by myself. I need your help I need your love I need your PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So at that very moment with her arms around me I truly understood what being a Christian was all about. I didn’t have to act strong and I didn’t have to fight this battle on my own; I couldn’t actually there is no possible way anyone could. While we were sitting there, I finally and whole heartedly surrendered my life over to Him. After that it was all tears of joy instead of sorrow, and I just felt free. Well we had “share time” after that with our “campus” and I was the first one up. I stood up proud and confident and announced to all my brothers and sisters in Christ that I was finally in the family!! I sat down and looked over at my friend Rachel Cowart and I saw the biggest smile go across her face. Afterwards I went over to her and we just hugged each other because she was so happy that I had done what I did. Later on that night at Prayer, Katie told me she could see a difference in me and the way I prayed out loud. I was more confident and not as nervous as I had been before.

I have a long road ahead and life will not get easier. However, God is sovereign and He loves me with all His heart (which is pretty big actually bigger than we can even imagine). I will get discouraged, overwhelmed, stressed, and depressed…………I will get in situations that tear me down and try to destroy my faith and trust in God. You know why??? Because I am NOT perfect no one is, but there’s something that is different in me now than how I was before…………I am stronger and I am talking about strong in Christ. He makes me strong not myself not my emotions. I have so many ways to talk to God and to worship Him and I have so many role models that I can go to when things get hard. He really has blessed me with Campus Outreach and all the people in it. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ now and forever!!!!!!!!! That bond is eternal and everlasting………the bond of a loving Heavenly Father and His children!!!!!!!!! 

God has a purpose and sometimes life is rough, but that is normal. I keep my focus on God and what He wants for my life! Jeremiah 29:11 & Proverbs 3:5-6! No matter what happens in life good or bad...God will always help you through it! Life after that weekend will be great and terrible, but God literally saved me from making the worse mistake of my life. A mistake that could of ruined my family and friends lives! Even though it's painful to talk about God is using my testimony to help others with the same issues that I went through! So you are NEVER alone! Just have faith and trust in Him!

     ****Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."****

     *****Proverbs 3:5-6 is my favorite verse & it says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."******

Sometimes we think life will be so simple, but it's never simple. I have learned in my life recently that no matter where I want to be I'm going to be somewhere different because of what God wants for my life. Life right now is better than it was before, but I will have hard/difficult times. Where I am in my life is not where I want to be. The people who are about to enter my life I may not never want in it, but it's not my decision to make. I have to trust God and know that He definitely knows what He is doing for sure! I hope my testimony has inspired you. It is meant to be shared and to inspire people. I have a story so I want to share it!

First Semester is DONE!

Well my first semester is done and completed! It's crazy to think that I just finished my very first semester of college Wednesday. All the memories that I've made has helped me this semester and all the friends that I've made has made me who I am now. These pictures are the most memorable moments of this semester.